Darkness

by Charity
(Oklahoma)

Depression.

I hate that word.
Happy wife. Happy life.
Right?
That's what they say.
Mental illness.
Ugh.
Even worse.
I have it all.
Husband.
Well paying job.
Friends.
Hobbies.
Check.
Check.
Check.
Check.
What's missing then?
Religion?
Stop.
No.
Been there.
Done that.
Hello darkness, my old friend...
Talk to someone they say.
Okay.
Sure.
Easier said than done.
"What do you have to be depressed about?"
Nothing.
Obviously.
Get it together.
So many people have it worse.
Maybe I should talk to my husband?
Have you ever tried?
Ever tried to talk to the person who makes you happy and tell them you are depressed?
Ever tried to tell them they aren't the reason why?
That you don't know why?
No clue.
Good luck.
It's real.
This beast inside of me.
It haunts me.
But it won't own me.
At least...
I hope not.
Be the fun girl.
You do that well.
Be that party girl.
So easy.
Be the helper.
That's a little moment of shine.
Uhh.
There it is again.
Darkness.
Why?
I wish I knew.