Depressed, am I?

by Nandu
(India)

Hi,

I have finally gathered the courage to share my issues with someone. I'm in my early 20s and used to be a very happy person till my undergrads. I am doing my masters now and I'm in the final year.

The main issue with me is that if I'm involved in doing something, I can only think or talk about that. Last year, I was preparing for a major competition and during those three months of preparation, I gave my boy friend a hard time by not talking to him about anything but about the competition, my anxieties, complaints about the team members etc. He managed it well.

After that the job recruitment started and due to a few genuine reasons, I did not appear for any initial interviews and many of my college mates got placed by that time. I thought I would be placed by now (because I do have a strong CV), but no recruiters came after that and I have been in a dilemma for 8 months. I have been thinking only about the job and if I will be having a job in 3 months (I will be passing out by May).

This anxiety etc has grown to the extend that I cry for small things, I don't feel like eating and my boy friend says he is fed up of my whining, crying and hates talking to me now. He doesn't listen to me anymore because I tend to call him every few hours. Every time I hear something good or something that makes me happy, I call him to share it and when he doesn't respond to it or says he did not listen to it because he is bored (a minute after I start talking) etc, I start crying again. I hate this behaviour of mine and I'm not able to control my tears.


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Nandu,

Thanks for reaching out to me and I am truly sorry you are going through such a hard time right now.

Based soley on the information provided, it does sound like you are feeling a lot of emotions ... depression may certianly be one of them. Other emotions may be prevalent as well such as fear, self doubt, anger ...

You are at a pivotal time in your life ... a time when you are undergoing a huge transition. Have you ever had these issues before? The reason I ask is that this could be a true clinical depression but it can also be what we refer to as "sitational depression".

Whether it is depression or not, it does sound like you could really use some unconditional support. Do you have people in your life that you can reach out to? There are also hotlines if you want to talk to someone anonymously. And, of course, a qualified therapist.

Have you taken a depression test? You might want to consider this as a starting point ... another data point that will help you determine your next course of action.

I wish you all the best and hope that you get through this swiftly.

Dana