Depressions Signs and Symptoms:
All Alone and Depressed
Where Do I Go?

I think I have depression, I looked up the depression signs and symptoms and a lot were what I am feeling. Over eating, over sleeping, loss of focus, losing pleasure in things I used to love. Irritable, short fuse, I always feel either hopless, confused and worthless or angry, unwanted and feel hatred towards mom or other reletives. I also at times, after being told something I did was unwanted, I feel abondonment or like they have stopped loving me. Like I am just in the way or a waste of time and money. I am in a fight with my mom, my dad left us, my brother hates or is in "that stage" where he hates me. The only person I trusted died. And I have NO ONE to turn to...what now?

I won't call "toll-free help lines"----My mom might find out and say its not true I'm just looking for excuses to get out of school or other "trouble".

I can't ask my mom-----She probably won't believe me, I'm in a fight with her anyways and just don't feel like I could tell her something like this.

I can't talk to friends----I'm sort of an outcast, I don't have anyone close to talk to.

I'm afraid school or doctors etc will tell my mom or tell the child help people.-----I just don't feel like I can trust someone to NOT TELL ANYTHING TO ANYONE I just want someone to sit and listen, not try and help me talk to others, I'm talking "hypothetically" to them for a reason, I don't want to talk to someone else.

I feel when it comes to it I just have some serious trust issues, I liked this site because you don't have to put E-mail, name, or any of that stuff. Please help me. I feel like I have no where else to turn but anonymous sites.so...HELP!!!

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As I read your submission, I am overwhelmed with the sense of loneliness and despair you are a feeling. You have certainly done your research about depression signs and symptoms. It sounds like you feel very unloved, perhaps even unloveable. If you have trust issues they are probably for a very good reason. You are fighting with your mom, feeling unloved, unaccepted by her - Your dad left, your brother is unsupportive.... I can imagine why you'd feel so alone. Why you may not trust very easily.

It sounds like you have a tough living environment and you don't get a lot of encouragement or support from your mother. I know how painful that can be. As kids we look to our parents to tell us how amazing we are, how loveable we are....we look to them for approval, for acceptance and when we don't get it, we start to doubt ourselves. We start to believe that, perhaps, we aren't loveable afterall.

Nothing can be further from the truth! We are all amazing in our own special ways. We are all loveable, even with our imperfections. The key is not to buy into the misguided messages that we are getting from others and tap into our own inner knowingness of how amazing we really are. And once you tap into that, embrace it with all your heart. Embrace the fact that you really are amazing!

Typically, when someone is unloving, unkind, judgemental, or even abusive it is because they do not love themselves. They have low self esteem and are looking for ways to feel powerful. The key is to empower ourselves to stand tall, believe in ourselves and take our place in this amazing world.

It took courage to reach out this way, and it takes courage to admit there's a problem and seek solutions and support so you can change things for the better. I'd encourage you to consider a depression hotline as you can remain anonymous there as well. Also, a school counselor may be able to help as well. Have the courage to trust in someone so that you can get the help, love and support you need.

I wish you all the best. Know that it can and will get better with a little faith, courage and hope!

Dana