I can't shake this.

by Shawn
(Utah)

A relationship I was in just ended quite badly. It was the only relationship I've been in since my wife left with another man a little shy of two years ago. It has been going quite well for the most part, we were making plans for a future together, and it ended very abruptly with her pregnant with another man's child.

I'm still in love with her and have never felt so lonely. I don't have anyone I feel comfortable talking to in person, though I have an appointment with the therapist I saw while going through my divorce, it's a couple weeks out though. I have a handful of good friends that I can talk to about but none close by and I think they're getting tired of hearing the same sad story night in and night out.

This loneliness is so brutal, I've never felt so unwanted and unloved. I don't know how to start picking up the pieces.

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Shawn,

I am terribly sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to you! I was traveling for the holidays and I am just getting caught up.

I completely understand how you're feeling. It sounds like the relationship, and this woman, is very special to you. Have things changed since you wrote to me? Please let me know how I can help. I do work with clients across the globe. However, it sounds like you have someone locally that you've been working with, which is a good thing.

My suspicion is that you feel betrayed, rejected and abandoned. All of which can bring up some very powerful emotions such as rage, sadness, grief, anger, guilt. All of these feelings are real and will need to be processed in a constructive, healthy way.

It is great to see that you are reaching out for the support you need. Losing someone you love requires that you surrender to all of the feelings that come up and allow yourself to go through the grieving process. However, keep in mind, we all grieve differently. There is no "right" or "wrong" way of doing it.

I am wishing you all the best and I hope that you have found the love and support you need during this time. If not, please feel free to reach out again.

All the best,

Dana