Stuck and Can't Get Out

(kailua kona)

I'm 44 married for 14 years -10 of the last four have been awful. I got really sick and it's affected everything in my life.

My husband told me that me being sick caused us to be broke and that's why he lost his business. He hates me for being sick. He said this countless times. There is no more love between us and I can't leave because I have nowhere to go. All I do is cry all the time, I have no one to talk to, I feel trapped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello and thanks for reaching out! I am so sorry that you are in such a dark place right now. Know that you can return to a place of warmth and light. It does take courage and work though. It all starts with baby steps. One little step at a time.

Being in a bad relationship and feeling like you have to be there because you have nowhere to go is a horrible thing. I understand it as I've been there myself.

First and foremost, you need to realize that you are inherently an amazing woman put on this earth with your own unique gifts and talents. Treat yourself with compassion, love and kindness.

You say you've been sick. Are you still sick? If so, what steps can you take to heal? The first step is finding a way to take care of YOU! Nurture yourself and focus on getting better ... whatever that means for you. I don't know your situation so I can't go any deeper here.

Are you in an abusive relationship (emotionally, physically, financially)? My suspicion is that this might be the case. It also sounds like you are depressed too, which is totally understandable.

It is important to know you are not alone. There are so many agencies, therapists etc. out there ready, willing and able to help you. If you are in a physically abusive relationship, consider calling a local women's shelter. Most do not charge for you to stay there. If you have kids, they usually take them as well. And, they have a lot of resources available to help you get back on your feet.

If you are depressed (and not being abused) you can reach out to counseling agencies in your area.

I do long distance individual counseling and group coaching. If you're interested, let me know.

You took a very courageous step just by reaching out to me. You should be very proud of yourself. You took your first baby step! Keep taking those baby steps. They each add up and when you're ready you'll have the wisdom, strength and courage to do what is right for you.

With love and light,

Dana